Wednesday, September 11, 2013

The Sweet Spot

School started last week.  Bob started a new job 2 weeks ago.  PTA stuff started 3 weeks ago. Soccer is back.  Aerial dance has started up again.  Rock climbing is in the mix too.  Yes the Leeks have a lot going on.  Wednesdays are particularly busy with Aerial dance, 2 soccer practices and rock climbing.  Yes, today is our busiest day of the week.

With Bob's new job he is able to be here in the morning.  It's so great.  He's a morning person so it's nice to have him here helping the kids ready for their day.  They are handling most of their stuff (getting dressed, making lunch, determining a mode of transportation) on their own but they often need to be reminded to "stay on task." Reading, building Legos, checking out a comic book... those are all secondary to the morning task of eating breakfast and making a lunch.   I know it's early in the year but Sophia has been setting her alarm and getting up every day.  They boys are easy to get up too.  As the days get shorter and the mornings darker, I'm sure it will get harder to get going in the morning but for now it's great.

While things are rolling downstairs I am able to move a bit slower than in past years.  I check my email and get ready for the day.  I am loving that part.

This morning I got up, got dressed and came downstairs at about 7:45.  I asked Bob what his day looked like.  He said he was going to take the kids to school and then go in for a meeting at 9.  I said, "Why don't you ride your bike?"  He's been talking about doing that since he got his new job.  His work is about 20 minutes from here door to door on a bike.  I timed it yesterday.  He said he couldn't get there in time after dropping off the kids.  I asked Sophia if she could get everyone off and she said, "Yes!" So now it is 8:05 and there are no excuses.  Bob agrees to ride.

We got out our bikes, put his stuff in panniers and took off.  It was a nice ride and it's almost all down hill on the way there.  It was a bit humid so Bob was pretty sweaty when we got to his office 20 minutes later.  Poor guy, I hope he cooled down.

I headed home up the hill. Yes, it is almost all uphill on the way home. Once again, this is confirmed.  As I rode I was noting what a sweet spot we are in.  We have nice kids who are pretty responsible.  Their "responsibleness" has allowed Bob and I to go out on dates and leave them home alone.  And today it allowed us to leave them home and for them to take them selves to school.  I was confident that they could do it and be on time.

We have good kids.  I am told fairly often how nice my kids are, how personable they are and that they are kind.  It is a huge compliment and I choose to believe people when they tell me these things.  If they were rude or unpleasant I don't think people would say anything.  No one is forcing anyone to say anything yet I hear the same compliments very often.  I am grateful.  And, I will take some credit along with Bob.  We have worked hard to instill good values and manners in them.  They are over privileged and indulged just like most kids are in our neighborhood but they also know how to work.  They do laundry, clean their rooms, are learning to cook, they make their lunches, balance their own finances, vacuum, sweep and pick up dog poop.  They have also been taught to carry a conversation.  That is big with adults.  My kids ask questions and engage.  Heck, Coulter is great at a party because by the end he knows everyone and can tell you something about them.

We (mostly) enjoy being with our kids.  Last Sunday the weather was perfect!  We were all up and at 'em by 9.  I noted that there was nothing on our calendar and decided we needed a family adventure day. We have been in Portland for 14 years and have NEVER been to the Vista House. That's ridiculous.  It's 20 minutes from our house and it is stunning.   That's where our day began.  We did a bit of hiking, viewing, skateboarding (the boys), fish viewing and dam touring.  It was such fun.  Again, it's part of the sweet spot.  Sophia wasn't so keen at first but once we were on the road she was happy.  Everyone was happy.  We enjoyed the weather, the experiences and each other.  Perhaps soon the sweet spot will change and the kids won't want to spend time with us but for now they do and I am going to enjoy the heck out of it.

Bob and I decided that there would be no screen this month.  It's not hard core but there is no gaming and no TV shows.  The rules have been broken a couple times; once for a sleep over and once for a daddy and Kees night.  So now we have more of the sweet spot.  More games, more family time, less arguing and less whinny kids.  I am loving this.

So I, we, all of us are in this great sweet spot right now.  I am aware that it will change.  The kids and our priorities will be different and the sweet spot will look differently.  But for now fun family time is in our sweet spot.  Allowing the kids freedom to go to and from school alone is in the sweet spot.  And being able to go out to dinner alone with Bob and without hiring a babysitter is in our sweet spot.  All of these freedoms and all of these experiences are sweet and I am savoring the right now.  I appreciate all the hard work it took to get here and I know that it was totally worth it.  And knowing that makes all the hard work to come more acceptable and tolerable.  We will keep working with our kids and giving them the skills to become responsible, friendly, honest, hard working and capable people.  Those life skills will give us more sweet spots in time and hopefully, the ultimate sweet spot in the future where we can watch our great kids become great adults who create their sweet spot of a future.   But for now I am going to totally absorb this sweet spot and take in every positive aspect of the NOW!

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